Time and time again I hear clients report to me a longing to find their purpose. They are disconnected to their “something bigger”. They want to live for, attach to and give to a passion, a reason. Something is missing for them.
Knowing this hole exists within oneself creates a deep sense of longing and loneliness. To ignore this is self-betrayal. To try to figure it out and fail is crazy making.
I can relate.
For years I witnessed others declare their passions, hobbies, pursuits. They seemed tethered to the depths of themselves as they’d report wanting to write poetry about cherry trees, paint bridges abroad or bake pastries for a certain bakery.
I was equally jealous of their knowing what direction they were being called as I was of their confidence and closeness to their truth. They seemed so sure of themselves. I was in awe of their clarity, their assuredness. Neither was familiar to me.
Until the past 10-15 years.
I now know I am on my path and connected with my purpose. In truth, it feels even more amazing than I ever imagined AND I see that it didn’t just happen.
I believe I am now one of the lucky ones and therefore I feel compelled to demystify the “getting here”. We all deserve to find our reason.
Our “WHY” is what makes it all make sense. Our “BIG WHY” matters most.
Here is how I see it. I’ve witnessed some heed the call more readily than others. Maybe it’s granted sooner to some. But regardless there is a pattern to its unveiling.
There is a trust, stillness, a listening, more trust and a first step.
It’s simple. It’s a process. It repeats as many times as it must and arrives in it’s own timing.
The most important part of this sequence is the silence. Yet this step is most resisted.
In the quiet of our minds we hear.
Your beautiful soul is always speaking to you but only in the silence can you hear it. It will speak sometimes loudly and clearly but mostly in a whisper.
I, like most, took on the challenge of finding my purpose like anything else I pursue. I went at it hard, with action. And when the first approach failed, I’d try, more fiercely and ferociously the next.
I unknowingly brought my ego into my pursuit when I invited my will, and my assumptions of what it should look like or how long it should take.
The distraction and noise of my over-effort-ing destroyed any ability to be still. I got caught in the DO-ingand missed the BE-ing, the listening. I bypassed any reflecting or redirecting.
I was left to my own anxiety that raged in the increasing panic of not figuring it out fast enough. Time seemed to be closing in on me. When the fear became overwhelming I’d create more action, task lists, chores, and efforts to control, with force.
I’d latch onto something that felt like it might resemble my purpose; A Career in Real Estate, Launch a Yoga Studio, Sell Network Marketing, Get a new certification. Again and again I’d conquer mastery in something that didn’t feed my soul. Any momentary gain and reward didn’t last. Onto the next career path, adventure, outlet I’d go. I’d bring my will, stronger and newly improved. In action I was committed to figuring it out, internally I was exhausted.
Ram Das says, “The quieter you become the more you can hear”.
This logic is known in our hearts. We resist it often but we all know it’s universal truthfulness.
My friends, it’s the only way. In the stillness is your call. In the recesses of your mind is your answer. There’s no figuring it out. It’s there already waiting patiently for you to claim it.
In the past couple decades I have found deep stillness in mindful living, meditation, regular yoga practice, journaling, daily rituals, and intentional unplugging from electronics. These things were once new, awkward and are still sometimes challenging to a degree, however, the rewards of peace and pause in my life is worth any amount of sacrifice or discipline. I choose to still myself because if I don’t, I lose my way.
Silence has changed everything for me.
This is what SILENCE did:
1) It unraveled the stuck and repressed emotions I’d been schlepping around. It made me look at and deal with the things I would have avoided.
2) It gave me perspective and gaps of opportunity in time. I call these spaces “choice points”. These choice points offered an opportunity to identify and alter patterns that are not in alignment with my values and/or aren’t leading me in a desired direction
3) It separated my false self (ego) from my true self (who I was born as)
4) It built my trust in listening, obeying and honoring my intuition regardless of others approval, validation or understanding
5) It taught me to say Yes or No, without being compelled to explain why
“To know yourself as the Being underneath the thinker, the stillness underneath the mental noise, the love and joy underneath the pain, is freedom, salvation, enlightenment.” - Eckhart Tolle
You don’t need to search for your purpose any longer.
Find YOU my friends and you will find your WAY.