I walk into the yoga studio. The room is already full.
I lay my mat down in a trancelike state, numb to the bubbling of emotions that I’m hoping to breath away in the next hour.
I rely on this practice to cleanse me. I always need this time to breath, and to be breathed, but especially this day.
I make my way to one of the only open spaces. Class is beginning. I smile at the teacher.
I look to my right. Next to me, my friend sits and is looking back at me. Her eyes are soft and piercing. Intent. Kind.
This friend brings me as much comfort as I believe I do her.
I did not see her in the room before this moment. I am immediately glad she is there.
I marvel at the coincidence that she is next to me. Then I acknowledge that there is no such thing as coincidence.
I am immediately grateful to be next to her. I feel my body soften.
The class begins and carries on.
Towards the end of the practice I come out of child’s pose. I see that she has left early as she sometimes does.
I complete my practice and leave.
Later we cross paths. We each smile.
This friend and I know much of one another from another lifetime.
We’ve shared a similar path, a similar struggle and a similar recovery. We know very little of the in-between, the before or the after.
But we know enough.
We continue to see one another from time to time, always unplanned but not unexpected.
We share a mutual respect for space individually and for holding space for others.
So this is what we do.
We speak without words.
But be sure.
We see one another.
I can feel her support.
I can feel her bravery.
Both help me greatly.
We speak in a glance and in the undertones of saying “Hi”, or “It’s really good to see you”, or “Have a nice day.”
From the outside it may look like we interact as if we hardly know each other. It may seem our passing’s are surface or ordinary.
This is not true.
It startles me that these simple interactions are so comforting. That they mean to me what they do.
I begin to explore how it feels to be supported, seen, comforted, and understood.
If feels amazing.
It DOESN’T require words.
I have friends that use language that leads me to believe one thing of our connection and yet it does not always feel like this.
I have other friends that make me feel exactly like this.
I love the warmth I can feel in true connection. I crave this more and more.
In savasana I meditate on what if feels like to have a friend.
It’s member appreciation day at the studio.
When I come out of my final rest a gift lies next to me.
It’s a laminated quote. Everyone has one. All are different.
Mine reads, “Get out of your head and into your heart. Think less, feel more.” - Osho
And so I do, more, and more, and more each day.
Connection braces me for this world.
My emotions are my guide. Feelings lead me to true connection.
I am grateful.
I am continuing to find my tribe with my Heart Wide Open.